Morning Pages Entry – February 18, 2014

Arghhh, another late start to the day, and I need to get back on the writing horse again. [personal stuff edited out] What the hell. Can these people never leave me alone for 5 fucking work days in a row ever!!!. God damn, it’s so frigging annoying having people around all the time, when I’m wallowing in writing agony, trying to get this first frigging novel out the door, and dealing with self doubt, and basically not knowing what the fuck I’m doing, and always at me for something. Even Jessica, who never comes into my office, is now coming into my office for stupid shit. Damn. So, time to do some writing again. I think, I need to do some summarizing of the stuff Jim Butcher wrote in his livejournal blog, which is in fact, a summary of the stuff Dwight Swain wrote in the selling writer. It’s got me a little concerned, that I need to go back and rewrite a bunch of stuff, but that’s ok, it may take a little while, but I’m sure it will be better in the long run. Why does this stuff take me so long to finish. Why does it seem so hard for me to get into a good rhythm of doing things, and getting things accomplished. The whole light a fire under the guy thing is just too hard for me to get a handle on. It’s like fucking ehh! How do I do this, how do I focus on just the important things, and not worry about all the other stupid shit that’s in my brain. It’s like for brief moments, I can focus on what’s important and block everything else, but it never lasts. At some point it all comes pounding on the door, and flooding back in like a damn tidal wave. Life is just one big fucking distraction after another, and I’m having such a hard time dealing with it all. Some disctractions I suppose aren’t so bad. Like, getting distracted by that Jim Butcher blog, was a good reminder of the things I should be doing when I’m writing. Combine that with the stuff I’ve been struggling with doing my writing, and it occurs to me, that I do need to do a bit more planning up front before writing the novel. Detail character sheets would be a good thing. Understanding each characters arc throughout the story would be good as well. What transformation is each character going through from beginning to end will help in the writing of the scenes. And, speaking of scenes, having a purpose, a goal, a conflict, and a setback for each scene will really help as well. I think, that still leaves room for some creativity throughout. Hell, I think it leaves a lot of room for creativity throughout. You can’t leave it all to creativity, I think that wouldn’t quite work for me. I need to have some sort of guidelines to follow. Some sort of bigger story question, and scene question, and guides. At least having the scenes mapped out, you would know when the story is going to end. And, the climax is something I still need to work out a bit. Or at least read that part over and over again. At least Jim’s blog is shorter then the whole “Selling Writer” book. Not as detailed of course, but something that can help out. [personal stuff edited out]

LOCATION: home office WORDSWRITTEN: 0 PUSHUPS: 30 TODO: write, squash house league, read TV: greys anatomy, dr who BOOK: none GAME: enslaved EXERCISE: weights – fitfix WEIGHT: 174 BREAKFAST: bacon & eggs LUNCH: big ass salad DINNER: spaghetti sauce SNACKS: orange, grapes, apple, mixed nuts, dark chocolate ALCOHOL: none BEDTIME: 1:30 AWAKE: 8:45


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