Morning Pages Entry – April 1, 2014

Ah here we go with April fools day. Nothing foolish going on in here today. Today is serious, as all my days seem to be lately. I will be trying to finish the intro to my novel today. I have a the first section of three finished, and the 2nd section of three 95% finished. So, today, I should be able to finish that one, and then finish the third. I’m calling them sections, because I’m not sure they are scenes anymore. The first one ended up at almost 8000 words. I’m trying to keep the subsequent ones shorter, maybe under 2000 words. I really need to get this muther finished. I have a lot of anxiety these days about this whole writing thing, and I need to get a better process going. If I can just get a taste of a little bit of success with the whole thing, then it’s got to get better for me. Instead of trying to get my foot in the door, I would actually have a foundation to build upon. Which I think has to be better. Although, I’m sure, that it will come with a whole new bag full of problems, but, at least they will be different problems. I know, that success can be a scary thing as well. As once you’ve succeeded with something, the worry comes that you have to do that every day. You have to repeat and build upon your success. I know I felt that with the link selling business, and I’m sure I’ll feel it with this writing stuff. Not a bad feeling to have, it’s what they like to refer to as having a good problem, but still a problem none the less. I just need to get there. It would be so nice, to have some sort of revenue coming into the bank account. I really want to get this to the point, where I can put out a small novel every month. Something that is a complete story, and something that is of a decent size, that people will be happy with reading it, and feel like they’ve got their moneys worth. I’ve started walking these days, since the weather has been nicer. I’m so tired of being broken from squash, but I do need to do something that will get me healthier and moving, but without wrecking this old body. I almost made it through this season without crashing, but things didn’t quite work out the way I had planned. I didn’t get enough of the weight off. Only about 10 pounds or less. I really needed to lose like 20 or 25 to make the kind of changes that I wanted. Well, we’ll just have to get there now. I’m sure I can do it before the summer, then really start to put on muscle and get stronger. That’s the key to staying healthy for the season. I really want to play B next year. But not, just be a bottom feeder in the B league. I want to be a solid top B player. I know, I can do it, if I get the weight down, and put on some good lean muscle. Get the body I want, and the strength I need to play a full 5 games at a high level. That would be pretty cool. But, the weight is the first step. I do believe I can do it. The key, is the healthy eating, which I’ve been sticking to pretty good for the moment. I’ve gone 34 days or so now, with no processed sugar or processed food. Which, I think is my record from over the Christmas holidays. I managed to lose about 8 or 9 pounds that time, but this time, nothing. It’s the nuts and the extra fruit I’m sure. I need to back off a bit of that stuff. I’ve been doing that now for the last few days, so with any luck, by the end of April I’ll be well under 170 pounds, which is a bit of a milestone in and of itself. When I finished the P90X, I was down to about 168 or 169, but that was the best I did. So, if I can get there now, that would be cool. Then drop another 10 and get under 160. I think, 155 should be my target. That’s it. That’s what I’m gonna do. I’m sticking to this super healthy, no sugar, nothing processed, no booze until I hit 155. Then, it just becomes a question of maintenance. I think, I should be able to get there by June 15. For sure. Just in time for beach season.

TIGERBLOOD: yes pretty energetic DAILYMOOD: happy LOCATION: home office WORDSWRITTEN: 1472 PUSHUPS: 2:00 plank TODO: writing, make pulled pork, squash club championship TV: smallville BOOK: none GAME: GTA5 EXERCISE: walking 1 hour WEIGHT: 174 BREAKFAST: bacon & eggs LUNCH: big ass salad DINNER: spaghetti sauce SNACKS: orange, grapes ALCOHOL: none BEDTIME: 1:00 AWAKE: 8:00

 

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