Morning Pages Entry – December 11, 2013

Well, I finally did it yesterday. Finally started writing on my novel again. that essential piece of work, that’s going to change my world. At least I hope it is, and according to Geoff Shaw it is. We’ll see. I didn’t feel as ecstatic about it as I thought I would of. It seemed like such a big hurdle to me leading up to it, that I was sure I’d be thrilled about finally writing. Perhaps, it’s not enough of a goal. Or perhaps, I know that it means it’s only the beginning, and that there are many many more days to go. The question still remains, about whether or not I enjoyed doing it. I have to say yes, it was en enjoyable experience. Not as much fun as say, sex or chocolate, but good in a different way. I do have a few other outstanding things (little things), that I’ve been procrastinating on that are bugging me a bit. I do need to take care of those things as well. Not sure why I let those things bother me the way they do. They really are only little things. It’s the writing thing that is my far the biggest hurdle I have to get over. But it does feel like a race with hundreds of hurdles in front of me. But, I really shouldn’t think of it that way. I need to think of it like the 30 day challenge thing, where if you can do something for 30 days in a row, that it becomes habit. Like the eating thing I’m trying to do now, where I haven’t eaten refined sugar or processed food for 17 days in a row now counting today, and it’s starting to feel like a habit. If I wrote consistently like I did yesterday for 17 days, then I’d have enough words for a small novel. I wrote over 3000 words yesterday. Which, is more words than I’ve ever written in a day, and that includes the writing I was doing over the summer. That would be over 51000 words if I stuck with it. It includes writing on weekends as well. Which I could probably do these days, as my weekends aren’t too crazy. I’m sure I could do that any day actually. And the good thing about it, is that 3000 words wasn’t that tough. I’m sure I could do 5000+ in a day quite consistently if I set my mind to it. It’s really only a major chapter or so. I think writing till I complete one major chapter in a day wouldn’t be that difficult, and if I could clear out of my mind the little cluttery distracting things that bother me then it would be good. I do think, that writing these morning pages has been a help in getting things moving with the novel writing. It’s like a good warmup to the real writing. I always feel the most like writing, right after I’ve completed these pages. Then, the longer I procrastinate it, the harder it seems to start. Yesterday, for instance I still didn’t start on my novel writing till a few hours after I had finished the morning pages. I think, it was like after lunch time that I started. And I still managed to get out 3000 words. The writing sessions themselves didn’t seem difficult. The words pretty much flowed. I had some idea of where I wanted the story to go, I just wasn’t sure of some of the details. I did have to stop and think a bit about the details, and how I was going to write my way out of certain things as I got going. But, I think that’s the way writing for me should go. Don’t be afraid to write yourself into corners, or other impossible situations. Both for your characters, and your self as a writer. Then it really tests your imagination, to come up with a clever way to get out of the situation, or to move the story along. That’s the clever bit I like. I always think I’m going to be stuck, but somehow I come up with something. That’s sort of the fun part. It’s like solving a puzzle or a riddle. Which was usually the part of any job that I really enjoyed. Like computer support of mainframe systems, that had a bug. Hunting down the bug was always kind of fun. Even if a bit pressure filled at 2am in the morning. But when writing, solving the writing puzzle is more fun and creative. I think, there’s still some self doubt lingering, but I suppose the more I write the more that will go away. I can’t assume, that just one day of good writing will cure that. And, actually from what I’ve read from a number of artist, that feeling never goes away. Probably not a bad thing . . . at least your thinking about the work in a way that means you care about it . . . about it being good. I supposes, that’s always the driving force of being an artist.

LOCATION: home office WORDS WRITTEN: 3146 PUSHUPS: 25 TODO: 3000+ words TV: dr who, ted, dawsons creek BOOK: none GAME: none EXERCISE: none WEIGHT: 179 BREAKFAST: bacon & eggs LUNCH: big ass salad DINNER: none SNACKS: grapes, apple, paleo approved trail mix ALCOHOL: none BEDTIME: 12:30 am AWAKE: 9 am

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