Morning Pages Entry – February 03, 2014

All right, I need to break out of this slump in a hurry. Like starting now. The superbowl party at Tims yesterday was alright, but I ended up drinking beer, and eating more crappy carbs, then I any fool needs. So much junk food, and pizza, and chips, and blah blah blah. Yech. Today, we start getting things in order. I need to do better. It’s going to take me days to get this crap out of my system. And supposedly I’m supposed to be playing squash tonight with David. That’s just not going to end well. Not with the way I’m feeling. Part of me still wants to go, and give it a try. To be honest, I probably need the workout more then ever after what I ate yesterday. Just have to drag my ass out there and do it. And of course somehow, I need to find a way to write more today. It’s all about the discipline. Maybe, it’s wierd, but I have a feeling, that not having Karen and Samantha around for the weekend, has caused me to slide into a really bad eating and sleeping routine. It’s like I need people around me to keep me at least a little more on track. On track of a good routine. It’s like a part of me worries about what they think about me, if I just stayed up all night long, and ate stupid ice cream or something. Especially with all my gotta eat healthy talk. It’s like maybe I need their bad eating habits around me to give me something to compete against. Or something to prove them wrong. That old desire for competition never seems to leave me. It’s always around, haunting me, driving me, obsessing me about how I do things. From writing to squash, to eating, to interacting with my family. Not sure how I feel about that. I think, it’s all about compensating for the forces around you in your life to get things the way you want them to be. Kind of like the conversation I was having with Chris McKenzie yesterday about squash rackets, and how it doesn’t matter how good a racquet is, as long as you get used to it, and compesate a bit for how it’s balanced to get your shots and game to work with it. Ha, squash racquets as a metaphor for life, how’s that for a bit of a stretch. Man, I really need to clear this fog out of my brain. I don’t like feeling this way. I need to associate this with eating and drinking that crappy stuff. Just take a look at Tims big belly. That guy and wife Patty had lost a bunch of weight not that long ago, by staying away from carbs and crappy foods. Now, it looks like they (at least tim) has fallen back into bad habits. That’s too bad for him. It’s interesting how many people do that so often. Sean Marten, seems to have stalled a bit with his big weight loss thing as well. Not sure, I’ll have to talk with him about it. I haven’t seen him much lately, but I’ll have to encourage him to stick with it. Should let him know, that he actually inspired me to get my act together again when it comes to eating better. At least, it got me through Christmas. [personal stuff edited out] Or, at least I get diverted from the things that keep my stress at bay. That’s probably a big part of it. Wow, this tune that just started playing on Pandora is great. It’s Peter Framptons version of “My Guitar Gently Weeps”. I just heard the Santana version of it, and now this one. It really is a great song. I’ll have to like this one as well. See how often Pandora plays if for me now. Really do like this streaming service. Costs a few bucks a month with the unblock.us service, but it’s definitely worth it, to have Pandora and Netflix working. Anyways, time to get to work today. Drink plenty of water, and eat a bunch of healthy food will hopefully get me feeling much better before I have to go off an play squash later. We’ll see how well that works.

LOCATION: home office WORDSWRITTEN: 0 PUSHUPS: 30 TODO: write, recover, read, squash TV: Superbowl BOOK: none GAME: none EXERCISE: squash WEIGHT: 176 BREAKFAST: bacon & eggs LUNCH: paleo pulled pork DINNER: pizza, chicken wings SNACKS: orange, carmel popcorn, chips, candy corn, smarties, ALCOHOL: 3 beers BEDTIME: 1 am AWAKE: 9 am

 

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