Morning Pages Entry – February 10, 2014

I think, the priority for this week, has to be upping my word count. There shouldn’t be much to distract me from doing that, and even today with Karen hanging around, she’ll be totally distracted by the olympics, and right now, she’s out taking the car to get the radio fixed. So, I seem to have my space at least temporarily. The other good thing about today, is that, I don’t feel stressed from the weekend. I don’t know what it is about Mondays, but for the last few, I’ve felt totally stressed for some reason, and it had to do with the weekends I’m pretty sure, but can’t really put my finger on it. It meant, resorting to a lot of internet distractions, and not very much real work taking place on the Monday. Today, we’re going to see if we can avoid that. I think, for starters, I will spend a half hour reading my “Selling Writer” book, to get a better idea of how I should be writing, and work on my skills as a writer. I did a bit of that yesterday, with reading the opening intro to “Million Dollar Outlines”, from David Farlane, which seems like a pretty good book as well. I think, I’ll pick it up from Amazon, and give it a go. The intro seems more digestable to me in terms of understanding what the author is talking about. At least the intro does. I have a feeling, it will get a bit more complicated as it goes on. Karen was asking me a bit yesterday about paying myself, which I haven’t done in a very long time, and those questions always stress me out a bit. Sometimes, quite a lot. I wish she just wouldn’t bring it up. I know, that this writing is going to take a while to get going, and she is a bit of a jekell and hyde when it comes to how she will react to the money thing. I would certainly like to have it coming in more steady, and in larger amounts, but the fact is, that at the moment, it’s going to take months for that to happen. Possibly even a year. That will be sure to freak her out . . . maybe . . . I’m never too sure what she’s going to do. To be honest though, with this writing, I think that added pressure of making money is too much of a detremental effect on the whole writing thing. Writing is more of a creative process, then anything I’ve done before, and the pressure of making money with it, is a negative influencer. I think, with the work I was doing before, which was more menial and technical work, the pressure of being financial successful was a motivator. It was really the only reason to to do the work. It was the main, and only reward really. With writing, it’s different. It feels more personal, and has more of an emotional investment. It’s more of me going into the work then ever before. And that just makes it feel different. It can’t be driven totally by money. Sure, the money would be a nice benefit. A potentially life changing benefit, but because it’s personal, the writing feels more like I’m exposing myself, and putting my innermost self out there for others to see. I want it to be good. I want people to like it. If I just focus on the money thing, then I don’t know that it will be really good. It’s hard to prioritize the business/financial aspects of the work without sacrificing the quality of what I’m doing. And, ultimately, the quality is what will sell the books. So, the business and the quality of the process of writing are not inseperable, but are quite often at odds with each other. It’s like, I can’t let them get to close to one another, but I can’t lose sight of either one either. Initially, I do need to focus on the quality when I’m writing, but ultimately, after that I need to make decisions that are smarter financially. Yes, I do need to pump up the volume of words. That’s the first step. That’s one gives me a product to work with. But then, I need to make sure those words are good, or maybe even great. That can I think happen in the editing process, which I wonder about. If I will just go straight through on it, or will I do some editing, and some writing of my next piece as I go. Probably both.

LOCATION: home office WORDSWRITTEN: 0 PUSHUPS: 30 TODO: reading, writing TV: greys anatomy, olympics, dr who BOOK: Million Dollar Outlines GAME: none EXERCISE: squash with Mark Williams WEIGHT: 175 BREAKFAST: bacon & eggs LUNCH: big ass salad DINNER: pork, brocolli SNACKS: 2 oranges, grapes, 2 dark chocolate, sunflower seeds ALCOHOL: none BEDTIME: 12 & 1am AWAKE: 9:15

 

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