Morning Pages Entry – February 24, 2014

This week, starting with today, has to be about being positive. I need to find a better way to be positive and move forward. Lately, I’ve been finding myself drifting backwards into a very negative mindset. No doubt, this is a difficult position to be in, but that makes it even more important, to remain positive about the direction that I am trying to move in. I need to maintain a positive mindset and keep moving in a direction that will help me be a better person, and a better writer, and make my life and those around me better. I don’t have a thick skin, and I need those around me to be more sensitive to that. I don’t need criticism of any kind, I need to coach myself to be upbeat, to deal with adversity, and to just carry on. Things can get better for me, I do believe that it is within my grasp to do so. I really don’t know how long that will take, and I don’t know to what level of success I can climb, but I need to make the effort and try. It’s all about trying and commiting to the plan. If I could choose to do anything in the world, and money didn’t matter, would writing be one of the things I would choose. Perhaps, yes. Not necessarily the first first thing, but certainly in the top ten, or maybe even the top five. It’s not as cool as being a rock star, which I think would likely be my number 1 or 2 perhaps. The other thing would be someone that did something that made others lives better. Either through volunteering or some kind of humantarian work with the less fortunate. Of course, achieveing financial success, can be a step in that direction. Remember the story of the two friends growing up that wanted to make the world better. One became a peace corp volunteer, and the other became a captain of industry. While the peace corp volunteer could help and contribute on a one to one basis, the captain of industry was able to use his considerable financial resources to make change and bring about a better life for thousands of people. While, I’d be thrilled to reach that level, I would also be very happy, to make it somewhere in between. Being able to make enough money, and divert a portion of it to help dozens or hundreds of less fortunate people world wide, would be an incredibly fufilling and rewarding position to be in. I would really love that. That would be better then being a rock star. Certainly, doing something creative is important to me, but something I’ve always pushed aside, because I didn’t value it, and didn’t think I could make a living out of it. As it turns out though, it appears, that these days the e-book revolution has seriously changed that in favor of starving artists or more specifically starving writers. If you have ideas, and you can write with a modicum of sensibility, then you have a good opportunity to make it as a writer. And, I was doing some good writing there for a while, which is exciting. Or at the very least writing. Not sure if it was good or not yet, but that’s still to be decided. But it was writing. And the Tony audio courses were helping. I need to find my way back to there. Not sure, really how I drifted away from it, but it was going good for a bit. This is really a humbling process, and difficult, especially without the support of those around me. Maybe I do need to talk [personal stuff edited out]. But at the moment, I don’t know. I think, I just need to do the work. Get the writing, the editing, whatever done, and move forward. Put yourself in a position to win. Don’t set unrealistic goals. As another Tony (Horton) used to say, “Your best is always good enough.”.

LOCATION: home office WORDSWRITTEN: 0 PUSHUPS: 30 TODO: squash, call squash ontario and western automotive, write, edit, read TV: greys anatomy, canada vs sweden olympic gold medal game …. YAY! Canada BOOK: none GAME: Enslaved EXERCISE: squash challenge match WEIGHT: 174 BREAKFAST: bacon & eggs LUNCH: big ass salad DINNER: fish, brocolli SNACKS: orange, apple, banana, grapes ALCOHOL: none BEDTIME: 1:30 AWAKE: 7 & 9

 

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