Morning Pages Entry – January 03, 2014

Yesterday was an interesting, if a bit depressing day. I had quite a bit to drink the day before, and not a whole lot of sleep. As the day went on, I certainly became much more agitated. I didn’t listen to my subliminal audio either from Tony Robbins yesterday. Certainly, by the end of the day, I was pretty grumpy, and thank goodness fell asleep early. I did get plenty of sleep yesterday. I’m not sure which of the above contributed the most to my mood yesterday, but I would suggest it was the alcohol from the night before. When I overdo it, alcohol real does have a depressive affect on my mood for the following day. It’s something I should watch out for in the future. Certainly the night before when I was drinking, I was in a very very good mood, but it would appear, that I do pay for it the next day. Even playing squash with Dave Crowley, I was totally out of it. It was like I just didn’t care whether I won or lost. Had to be tied to the stuff. The good news still from yesterday, was that I got back onto a healthier eating schedule. No cheating with my great weakness chocolate or other junk foods like I had done on the day before. I don’t mind the idea of what cheat day every so often. The one the day before on Jan 1, was perhaps long overdue, and the first one I had in I think 38 days, so that’s not so bad. There is some stuff I’ve read, that suggests that having a high carb cheat day every week, can actually help your weight loss efforts. I can’t remember the exact details, but something about giving the body enough of a carb overload to make it think there is plenty of food around, causes you to lose more weight. Supposedly, it helps some people break through plateaus in the weight loss journey. We’ll see. I think once a month is not so bad. So I’ve had my January cheat day. Perhaps by the end of February, I’ll have another one. Although, I’m thinking, that it all get’s back to the pleasure and pain motiviational stuff that Tony talks about. The more I can associate the nasty food with pain instead of pleasure, the less I’ll crave it. Or, for that matter, if I find my pleasure from other things in my life, then who needs the food to feel better. That’s really the key for me I think. I eat emotionally so often, because I’m not finding happiness in other areas. That’s something I think I was overcoming though, when I was listening to the tapes from Tony, and doing my daily journalling, and eating decently. I do believe they can really help me. I think, if I found the time to listen to a tape every day, and incorporated that into my daily habits that I would just naturally be happier. I could devote more productive time to the things that I really need to do, like reading and more importantly writing, and ultimately be happier. I was feeling super good a few days ago when I played those challenge matches with David and Mark, after listening to the tapes and doing the exercises with them. I still wasn’t writing yet, but I do believe that I was moving in that direction. I just need to set a new 30 day habit with the tapes, the writing, and the reading (novels and writing books). If I can do that . . . If I can surround myself with the things I need to to encourage me to write, then it has to happen. It will just feel more natural, and ultimately I will find a lot of happiness. Can you just imagine how you will feel, if your fit, healthy, winning squash, writing 1000’s of words per day, selling lots of books per month, and improving your mental health all at the same time. I feel there would be no limit to what I can accomplish. Even the last bit of time, I found doing little things around the house, so much easier, like just doing dishes all the time, and keeping the kitchen counter clear made me so much happier. Whereas yesterday, I felt bitter, and annoyed about people leaving dirty dishes around. Whereas before, I welcomed them, as it gave me something to feel productive about. Something to think about. It’s doing all the little things, that really have a profound affect on your mental well being.

LOCATION: home office WORDS WRITTEN: 0 PUSHUPS: 0 TODO: weights workout, read, write, pulled pork recipe TV: The Rainmaker movie BOOK: none GAME: Grid 2, Little Big Planet Karting, The Last Of Us EXERCISE: squash WEIGHT: 177 BREAKFAST: bacon & eggs LUNCH: big ass salad DINNER: none SNACKS: grapes, orange ALCOHOL: none BEDTIME: 10:30 pm AWAKE: 9:00 am

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