Morning Pages Entry – July 22, 2014

Remember to keep in mind your vision. Remember what kind of day is a perfect day for you. One, where you wake up ta 6am, from a good 7 hours sleep. One where you have 5k words of writing down by 10am. One where your writing leaves you energized for the rest of the day. One where you know you have all the hard work done early, and you can spend the rest of the day, doing all the things that you worry about when your not getting your writing done. Think about how good it feels, to have your fingers flying over the keyboard, and how cathartic a release you have, when those words your putting down on the page, come from your heart … like your expressing ideas you have about the human condition, and how important that is to you, to have those ideas out in the wild and free for others to read, ponder and muse about. That’s my idea of a perfect day. Where the hard stuff, is done by 10am, instead of maybe just getting started. Like, today is going to be. You need to focus on what’s important in your life, and not let other things distract, worry, scare you … most of them are out of your control, or will never happen. Their inconsequential, and irrelevant. You need to find your niche, and dig into your writing. That needs to be a place you can inhabit and feel nourished by having spent time there. Your writing, needs to take a little bit of this feel. This feeling of bliss, and escape, and that what your doing is not perfect, but it is good enough, and it will take you to where you want to be, if you believe for just a little bit longer. Your in a good place … all the pieces are there for you to take advantage of things, you just have to do what you know (and believe) will work. Writing is a beautiful thing, and the culmination of a life’s ambitions … albeit not one that was even known to me, the one person that needed to know it. So, I’m one of those people, that comes to things later in life. I’ve always sort of felt that way, so why not with this. It started with not getting my drivers license till two years after I was allowed to. It came with not going to college till three years after the rest of my class did. It comes with being late to girlfriends. I’ve always felt, I was just born a little bit too early. So maybe perhaps that’s the case with writing. Speaking of being born too early, here’s a little brain ditty, that just came into my head, and likely deserves a place in my journal. My earliest conscious memory. I mean, when I was little, the furthest back in my brain, that I can go and remember something. That something was a feeling, that it was my decision to be born (to become) anything I wanted. Anything. Anyone. I don’t remember so much mulling over choices, or even making a choice, but I do remember HAVING a choice. It goes back so far, that I believed for the longest while (and maybe still now), that this processing of making a choice of who I would be took place in the womb … or earlier. I know sort of strange … but also remember, I was very young, when I came to this conclusion. Young, and likely more open minded about things. Not so constrained, by a life of people telling me I can’t do things, or I shouldn’t do things, or being convinced about what was not possible. Life can beat you down sometimes, and take you down a path not entirely of your choosing. So, let’s just say, that my earliest memory was correct … that it was 100% true and possible. That would mean, that right now … today, that I can decide that I am going to be a writer. If I can in my earliest recollection, believe that I can be anything I want to be, then why not have that thing be a writer? The timing is right, the feeling is right, and I want to do the work. I just need to beat all the fears that go with it back with a big stick. Back into the dungeons, and sewers, and mouse halls they ventured from. Out of my head and back to the pits of hell they came from.

TIGERBLOOD: some DAILYMOOD: aprehensive LOCATION: bayfied boat WORDSWRITTEN: none PUSHUPS: some wall sits TODO: write TV: none BOOK: none GAME: none EXERCISE: walk on beach WEIGHT: 170 BREAKFAST: bacon & eggs LUNCH: big ass salad DINNER: none SNACKS: orange, grapes, apple, lara bar, naked bar ALCOHOL: none BEDTIME: 3am AWAKE: 8am


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