Morning Pages Entry – June 20, 2014

Today, is going to be cool for a couple of reasons. 1, I’m hitting 200 days in a row of doing my morning journal, and 2, I’m going to publish my first short novel. I’ve decided, that I will publish the novel I have written so far in 2.5 parts. The .5 is because the last part, has only about 17K words, and will need at least another 25K words, to make it complete. I will have to write more for the third part before I can publish it. But, doing it this way, should give me three titles on the market before the end of July. That’s sort of cool. It does mean, that I need to get the last bit written and edited quicker perhaps … or maybe not … then I had thought, but nothing that’s not undoable. I think, today, that I also have to address how I felt yesterday while trying to format the first book. And, that feeling was one of panic, or basically just freaking out inside. To the point, where I was paralyzed with making simple decisions about even what front matter in the book. I think, I’ve built this whole thing up in my mind to be way bigger then it should be. Sure, there’s potential for this to be a huge money maker for be, and even a life changer for me, but don’t let that seem so huge, that it makes the smallest of decisions difficult. There’s nothing you do now, that isn’t reversible or fixable down the road. Sure, the first few books aren’t going to be all that great, but you truly don’t know how good or bad they will be, till you throw them out into the market. And, if they don’t fare well, then you can always rewrite them, or just pull them altogether. The first few steps are simply an exercise in getting this done. Push the story out there. Do the best you can with what you have, and see what happens. Getting on with the next story, is likely the best thing you can do. We need to get momentum working in our favour. The more you write, the better you feel, and the better your chances of success. And remember, remember this above all … do it for the love of writing. Not for the money, or the cool factor, or the possibility of changing your life. Those are all things that are too big to hang in the balance. Do the writing for the love of writing. For how it makes you feel, for how happy you are after doing the writing. Find ways to be happy in the moment when your doing the writing, and don’t put so much at stake. Think, instead of how much you love doing the work, and how much more you’ll appreciate that feeling, when you’ve become better at the craft. That’s what you want to focus on. The love of writing, and the craft. Getting good at your craft. To be able to sit down, and create characters and events dripping with emotion, and relevance … it’s such a good feeling inside. You know, that everything you’ve done up until now, has been moving you in this direction. Everything in your whole life. All the little signs were there. Even, how much you like writing stupid little things like emails, and how you’d hang onto, and edit the smallest of phrases in a stupid business email to make it sound just right. How, you always go back, and read an email you’ve sent, just seconds after sending it. You’ve always cared about the writing, you just didn’t realize how much. Now, you have that opportunity. To get really good at the craft of writing, and do it everyday. Every day without fail, for the rest of your life. You don’t have to take vacations, you don’t have to get away from your job, you don’t have to hate what you do every day. You can love your work … love the writing. Sure, in a way, that’s even a bigger prize to hang on the outcome of all this then then money and material things, but nothing you do today or tomorrow, is irreversible. It’s all just a learning exercise, that takes you one step closer to where you want to be. You can do this. Take a step closer. Hell, take two steps, or three for the matter. It’s your life to do what you want with it. Just do it for the right reasons … do it for love.

TIGERBLOOD: yep DAILYMOOD: really anxious LOCATION: home office WORDSWRITTEN: none PUSHUPS: 4:15 wall sits TODO: publish your first novel TV: californication, documentary on San Quentin Prison BOOK: Your First 1000 Copies GAME: 2048 EXERCISE: 1 hour walk WEIGHT: 170 BREAKFAST: bacon & eggs LUNCH: big ass salad DINNER: salmon, sweet potatoes, asparagus SNACKS: orange, grapes, apple ALCOHOL: none BEDTIME: 11:15 AWAKE: 6:15


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