Morning Pages Entry – November 24, 2013

Well, this is not going to be an easy morning. It’s another early day for the swim meet, and there is a ton of snow outside. Not sure if the little care is going to make it down the street without getting stuck. We don’t have snow tires on it yet, so that won’t make things any easier. I’m sure Karen is going to start complaining about shoveling the driveway or something soon. I think we should just run the car through it, and see how it goes. Yesterday when I was safety marshalling for the swim meet, coach Andrew came up and shook my had, and told me what a great kid Samantha was, then also said how great all the kids were. I’m sure he meant all the Campbell kids, and not the swim kids in general. But that’s neither here nor there. He’s a funny sort of guy, but it certainly cheered me up from my drudgery of working a swim meet. I told Sam later what he said, and that certainly made her day. She is a little bummed out this weekend, since she’s not able to swim due to her twisted ankle. Andrew is the kind of coach that everyone wants to please. At least all the kids do. At least our kids seem to. He’s a pretty driven character. I also have a squash match this afternoon, challenging for the top spot on the team. Probably not going to get it, but I was pretty happy about how I played yesterday in Derek’s little tourney. I didn’t beat the better players, but I did seem to hold up pretty well. My fitness does seem to be getting a bit better. It likely would be a lot better, if I had more discipline when it comes to staying away from the junk food. Yesterday, I didn’t eat anything till about 4:30, what with all the rushing around to swimming and squash tournaments. And I did eat pretty healthy till about 7, then as usual, I start reaching for the junky stuff. I actually ate some potato chips last night. I think I get cravings for them when I miss one of my other big meals like the salad that I didn’t get yesterday. It’s kind of like I need to fast completely for the entire day if I’m going to stay away from the junky stuff. I know, that I feel so much better in the morning when I haven’t eaten any processed food or sugar the day before. The junk food is just another substitute for making me feel happy every day. I really hope these morning pages can become a better subsitite for my feelings. While I’m not sure they actually clear my mind, I do believe, that they get me thinking in a more positive light. I think they may even be helping my squash game a bit. Squash really is as much a mental game sometimes as it is a physical. And, I do seem to be a bit happier and at peace when I write these pages. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m actually doing something that feels productive at the start every day or what. Heaven knows I haven’t had a lot of those productive feeling days as of late. More like, a lot of guilt come the end of the day for not getting near enough of what I’d like to have done. Maybe that’s all it is. I think the pages may eventually start to work as a catalyst to having more productive and inspired days coming up. We’ll have to wait and see. It hasn’t happened yet. I do feel like I am getting bit addicted to doing them, even though, I do feel a bit rushed this morning to get this one done. I’m really watching that word counter. Doing these first thing is likely a good idea, but I think doing them when I’ve had a full nights sleep, and a non-junk food day prior would be even better. I do need to get moving here, as we are going to have a hard time getting out of the driveway, and hopefully I won’t end up wrecking my back in the process. I do know now, that my head will be a little clearer before I walk out the door from getting these pages done. I did mean to get up a little bit earlier to do them, but hey, they’re done now. So that’s all that matters. Thank goodness. Well let’s get on with the day.

LOCATION: Home Office TODO: Swim meet, squash TV: Dr Who, Torchwood, Dawsons Creek BOOK: none EXERCISE: squash WEIGHT: 182 BREAKFAST: bacon & eggs LUNCH: none DINNER: none SNACKS: dark almond chocolates, potatoe chips, ice cream cheesecake thing ALCOHOL: none BEDTIME: 12:00 AWAKE: 6:30

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