Morning Pages Entry – November 30, 2013

Wow, so it looks like I’m up to 10 days as of today, guess I get some funky new badge 😉 Ah well, it’s what makes things fun, to have little goals and achievements. This has been a different bit of a morning, as I drove Sam to swim practice at 5am, then tried to go back to sleep, but couldn’t so I ended up driving her to REV3K at 7:30 as well, which made Karen happy, as she’s still sleeping now. I’ve actually played some GTA5 for an hour before I drove her to REV3K, and got around to writing this log. GTA5, is kind of an interesting game, it’s sort of just fun to drive around all the time and explore. It’s pretty impressive how big in scale the game is. You can literally drive around an entire city, and never really feel like you’ve been to the same place twice. It came with the new PS3, that I bought for the basement TV. This basement is really turning into quite the man cave. I’m probably going to go out in a little bit as well, and get the new Yamaha receiver for the family room centre. Still humming and hawing in my mid over whether to get the subwoofer or not. Best Buy has a nice 12 inch woofer by Klipsch for $349. Would probably sound pretty awesome, even if I only get to crank it when the girls aren’t around. Had Sam at FutureShop with me last night looking at the electronics, and it was kind of funny. She kept saying, “we already have speakers, why do we need more . . . we can hear everything”. It’s funny, how this generation may be inundated with technology, and multimedia, but have no appreciation for true hi-fidelity listening. Their so used to listening music and sounds from crappy little portable speakers, that they don’t know what their missing. Even lately I’ve noticed how Karen and Sam miss a lot of the TV shows/movies their watching, because their always totally intent on their tablet or phone. I’ve found, that I’m getting a little more discriminating as to when I’ll actually look at my phone when the television is on. You miss so much of what’s going on, when your eyes and attention are buried in your mobile device, that the TV/Movie story just becomes white noise. But, that seems wrong. There are so many visual cues that take place on the screen . . . the dialogue is only part of the action. I don’t think they realize what their missing. An actors facial expression, turning of their mouth, or sideways glances say so much. If I’m watching something I really like, I put my phone down, and consciously leave it alone, and focus on what’s going on the big screen. Anyway, enough about that. I was thinking, with the electronics upgrading I’ve been doing lately, how funny it is that I get so focused on the electronics, it’s like nothing else matters for anything. I need to get that kind of focus with my writing. It’s really pretty cool, doing these morning pages, that I can get so into a stream of concious writing while I’m doing it. Cool in the sense, that I know if I can get into my story writing more, and picture it like a movie in my head, I’m sure I can become incredibly prolific, and still maintain a pretty high quality of writing. Part of what has sort of freaked me out a bit lately, was that comment Karen made a while ago, when she asked me if I would just like to take on more home responsibilities, and not worry about making money so much. On the inside, I was like “what the fuck are you talking about!”. I mean she can swing so wildly in every which direction when it comes to life stuff especially money. I mean now wonder I go crazy. But, I think that comment unfortunately took a bit a pressure off me, which is bad, and made a little part of me inside just give up on everything. Like I wasn’t struggling enough as it was, I believe I needed that pressure. Although I do believe that financial pressure is bad when your trying to do creative writing, as you end up being motivated by the final payoff, instead of the inner rewards you can get from the creative process. Would I just write if I didn’t need the money, I don’t know if I would . . . I like to think that I would eventually, but part of me doubts that. I think I would need to get a bunch of things out of my system, but now I believe I need to do some writing, to allow me the freedom to get those other things out of my system. . . well, that’s confusing as shit.

LOCATION: home office TODO: buy receiver/subwoofer, visit Helen in Sarnia TV: Dr Who, Indie Gamer Movie, Dawson Creek BOOK: none GAME: GTA5 EXERCISE: none WEIGHT: 180 BREAKFAST: bacon & eggs LUNCH: big ass salad DINNER: none SNACKS: strawberries, orange, paleo approved trail mix ALCOHOL: none BEDTIME: 12:45 am AWAKE: 5:15

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