I’m thinking, that this scene needs to start off with Alex and Chaz loading up for their mission. There could be some conversation, maybe some view of the gear they have. I’m thinking they’ll have some pretty nice resources at their disposal. Guns, gear, food, medical supplies. The extra pressure that’s added to Chaz at this point, is that he is now ordered to stop the renegades and Christa at all costs. Meaning if he can’t capture them, then he needs to kill them. And, that includes Christa. I’m thinking, that Rabban should be paying them a visit at this point. And, it should probably be just before they start to leave. The next time we see these two, they should be on the road or in some major conflict with the renegades. Of course, Alex is not going to take this information very well. Remember, that Alex thinks, that Christa is in his head, that she talks to him. No special connection, other than their existing relationship. What other pressure could be put on during this scene? Rabban is there, so we could do something more with him. Make him seem a bit more difficult than normal I suppose. What’s his agenda? We did have something special in mind for him. Like, he was on the short list for becoming the regent, but instead was selected for an advisory role. He wasn’t supposed to know about that, but ended up finding out. I don’t want to get too sidetracked with Rabban though. This is really a scene to move the plot along primarily. That doesn’t mean you can’t so some character reveal building sort of stuff with Rabban though. Maybe a little something about Alex. Maybe, you could drop some hints as to Christa still saying things inside his head. Maybe this connection, is not one that even Christa is too aware of. Maybe she kind of does it subconsciously. Which of course, won’t be revealed until later. But, it could come in handy for their hunt, where Alex could come up with some sort of hint … maybe even in this scene like Christa is worried, or things are going wrong. Like Alex is pretty quiet at first like he’s worried. You could build some sympathy for Christa here with the reveals from Alex, before Rabban comes in and let’s them know that they all have to be taken out. He should pull Chaz aside before telling him.
My notes for this scene say that Chaz suspects something about Christa. I need to give a little more in my notes I think, when I’m setting up scenes. At least a couple of sentences would be somewhat more helpful. Even if it’s just in the synopsis. At least to give you somewhere to start from. You can always change it after the fact. So, Christa suspects something about Christa. I believe what my initial thoughts were, were that there had been no sign of Christa and some even would trigger in Chaz to believe that Christa is still alive. Now, the reader knows Christa is alive, but of course Chaz doesn’t know for sure. He’s seen the pictures from Rabban, and he should be able to piece things together. What Chaz should be suspecting, is that in fact those zombies killed the Captain, and that Christa should have something to do with that. Now, Chaz is a smart guy, so what would he suspect. He remembers Christa as a nice kid, but one he didn’t really trust, because she was once a zombie. So, he should likely fall back on his gut instincts, that she played a part in the murder somehow. But, it still shouldn’t quite jive with him. The connection he had with her, should still bother him a bit. Remember, Andreas is the one that’s going to be the problem here. But, I still want Christa to come off with more of an edge than she had before. She’s got a right to be a little pissed, and a little crazy. She’s been listening to the sounds of thousands up thousands of zombies screaming in her head for six years. That’s bound to make anyone nuts. So, who does Chaz have to confide in, or what actions should he take where we can lay out his suscipions. There needs to be something interesting going on. Maybe, it would be a good idea to have a discussion with Dr. Montgomery. Maybe, he should take something from the Dr? Maybe some sort of conflict. You already had him sneak around her labs looking to steal info before. What about, if instead we have him pull some strings using Rabban or the Regents to force the doctor to turn over information. Can something about KonGod get put into this scene. Maybe by way of his conversation with Dr. Montgomery. That might sort of work. So, Chaz pulls some politics to get what he wants, and maybe, he gets more then he bargained for? Maybe, he finds out that Montgomery and the General kind of let them get away last time. That they were testing them. The Dr. Could hint that she knows more about KonGod then she’s supposed to.
I’m thinking now, that what should happen, is this should be some sort of confrontational issue with the good doctor. That maybe Chaz lets her know a little bit about what he knows now, and that in an attempt to get some information from her, he learns that she may not know as much about how the drug works. Or, maybe she does, and we let the reader know a bit more about it. Gonna have to figure that out. And, what about the conflict here, and a little bit more plot advancement. Maybe, the doctor should suggest that the real fear is of any zombie coming back from the drug. Perhaps she should suggest something about her suspecting that the drug could be doing damage to the minds of the zombies. To a degree, that they don’t quite understand, and maybe, that’s why she stayed at the research facility.
So, what I’m thinking here, is that the Regent has some information about the missing boat captained by Captain Willie, so they need to impress the importance of finding Christa. We also want them to have some sort of information that Christa maybe on board the vessel. Perhaps they were spotted by another ship, or perhaps some video surveillance was looked at after the boat never made it’s appointed stop in New Orleans. Either way, they would suspect that something has happened to Captain Willie, so they need to raise the stakes more with Chaz and the importance of the mission. Chaz should be wavering a bit at the beginning of the scene I think. That’s likely where it should start. Then, likely it should be a representative of the Regent that shows up last time. Rabban was the character I had in mind in the earlier outline. Rabban is definitely evil, and he should imply some pretty drastic threats. Against Chaz or his family. Or, maybe even Christa. He could threaten to find Christa first, and if he does, there’s no question what he’ll do to her. Just about anything he wants, and thats before turning her over to the authorities. I don’t think this has to be a long scene. Location I’m a bit unsure of. There’s always the fort, or maybe, it takes place as he’s leaving the prison. Maybe his escort gets orders to bring him to someone else. That would work. So, we have Chaz driving away with escort. Chaz is just a passenger. He can be alone with his thoughts for a while, contemplating the discussion with Abby, then the car stops and picks someone up about an hour from the prison. That person would be Rabban. They drive together and have another little discussion.
We’ve already covered a few scenes sooner then I thought I would based on this structure, so we’re skipping that last one and going right to this one. We already laid out the demands of the regents back in the first chapter where Chaz had his little encounter with the Regent. I’m thinking perhaps, maybe we will only go with the one Regent at the moment. I know that for a while, I was having multiple regents, but I think for the moment, it makes more sense to have just the one … for the Americas. So here we want to set up a difficult choice for Chaz. One one hand if he doesn’t take the case and do what the Regent requested, the hopes for reuniting with his family become very distant. On the other hand, we need give Abby some sort of bargain position to offer Chaz. He obviously wanted family to be a part of his life, even though it’s been so many years gone. The best Abby has to offer him at the moment, is a very dysfunctional family. The kids are a mess, and she probably is too, although we don’t know that for sure. We haven’t delved much into her state of mind at the moment, other then to say that she’s concerned about her children. She does have the suspicions about Caius, and we know that he will get himself into a bunch of trouble later that needs addressing, so using him here will help set that up. If we can demonstrate that Chaz still has deep concerns for his son. As well, there’s always the thought, that Chaz could still reconcile with just Abby. She was military at one point, right? That’s how they met afterall. They are of a similar mind in some ways. He would likely see that as a good thing, even if he could just reconcile with her. Really though, he can’t let Abby know that he still has military work to do. So, what Abby wants and Chaz wants is sort of the same thing, it’s just that he can’t really let Abby know that much. He doesn’t really know that much. Hang on. Actually, maybe there is still stuff that needs to go into the prior scene. It could be a briefing on what the regents discovered about Captain Willies boat. You know, if I put that scene after this one, then you could probably really ramp up the tension. Have Abby lay it tough on Chaz in this scene, then have the regent (or their representitive … remember Raban) pull him into an emergency session to increase the importance of his mission for them. Maybe, have this scene setup, so that Abby convinces him that his family would be better off in prison. Especially Caius. It would stop him from joining the Renegade faction the Freeze. That’s good … I like that. So, start off this scene where Chaz meets Abby for the first time at the prison and they have bit of a discussion.