Write for love. Write for fun. Write for me. Write write write. It’s a funny thing, the trouble a little concept can have in your brain. I’m wound way to tight when it comes to writing these days. I need to get back to where it was fun to write. Gotta get back, to where it felt guilty simply because it was fun to write. That’s where I need to be. Where writing was so cool and fun that I felt guilty for doing it. That’s where I need to be, and I think …. I KNOW I can get there. Continue reading
Met Helens new friend yesterday Richard. A british guy. Not sure what to make of him yet. He seems very friendly for sure. Quite talkative about a number of things, including sailing, and very informative. In his late 60’s and in incredibly good shape for someone of that age. An avid swimmer and pretty active fella. So, it rained again last night … the weather seems to be conspiring against me, to sink my dinghy. I really should, haul it out of the water today, and see if I can get that 4th hole patched. I certainly hope, that it’s the last one. It’s a very obvious one for sure, and if I can get the thing to hold onto air, that would be great. I’ll use the patches that Wayne gave me, and try to return that stuff I got from Ron’s shop yesterday. That stuff was definitely way over priced. $50 for a big honkin can of glue. What the heck is that all about. I need to stop drinking beer, and get some real writing done. This hanging out with the brothers is fun and all, but not so good for my writing career, that’s a given. The free book out there is doing pretty good, I suppose. It continues to see bout 30-60 downloads per day, so about 1000 per month, which, I would hope, would translate into some sales of the second one, and there have actually been 3 sales of the second book. I know, their not the greatest books, but that’s ok, we’re just getting going. I think, I’ve had about 400 downloads, so we seem to be converting at around 10% or a little less. Not to great, but a start. If I can get that higher, and get some longer better quality books, then advertising will begin to make more sense. We’ll see. Here’s to hoping that the rain is done with us for the next little while. I’m getting a bit tired of it. Although, I do suppose, that it did chase us off to bed at a decent hour last night, instead of staying up too late, and drinking too much. Haven’t checked the weather report for today, but it would be nice if the sun comes out and gave us a bit of a breeze to go sailing with. Will have to see how many people we have … 10 I guess, which is quite a few to go sailing with, especially with the little ones. If the conditions are good it would be ok … meaning if the conditions are light, it would be ok, but we’ll have to see. The first thing, would be to get the dinghy out of the water today to start with, then go from there. I wish I had like 6 books out there on the shelf to sell. I really do. Then, I think things would really be clicking along money wise. I so, need to see some progress in that department. Sure, doing it for the love of the writing is the right approach, but getting some reward for doing it that way, is important as well. I need to have a little more financial freedom to move and do some more interesting stuff. Gotta get to more writing. I should be doing more writing on the blog as well I think. Even, if your offering rebuttals to other writers out there, like Hugh Howey and Kornath. That may get you some attention to start with. Not a bad way to get going.
TIGERBLOOD: uh huh DAILYMOOD: good LOCATION: bayfield boat WORDSWRITTEN: none PUSHUPS: none TODO: patch dinghy, go sailing, write TV: none BOOK: none GAME: none EXERCISE: none WEIGHT: 170 BREAKFAST: bacon & eggs LUNCH: nuts, avacado, DINNER: hamburger, sausage, salad, tomato SNACKS: orange, nuts, grapes ALCOHOL: 4 beers BEDTIME: 11:00 AWAKE: 7:45
Well, maybe, today I will get out, and wax the boat. It’s supposed to be raining, but as I look out the window, the sun is shining. I haven’t checked the weather for Bayfield yet, but I’ll do that as soon as I finish this journal. This morning, I do feel a bit aprehensive about a few things. I think, it’s just the usual procrastinating about the boat thing going on. I’m just sitting here, and wondering, if I even cleaned the wax rags from last years waxing of the boat. It’s amazing, that I don’t think of that stuff till the very last second. And, my back feels a little sore this morning. I have been sitting too much doing work these days, that’s for sure. I do like working up stairs, but I don’t have a proper stand up desk for the laptop upstairs. I should look, and see if I can find something better. It wouldn’t be that hard to rig something up. Maybe, something I could take to the boat later. I think, I would worry so much less about things, if I knew, that the finances were taken better care of. Just, imagine, what it would feel like to wake up in the morning, and know, that you had no debt, and that there was extra money sitting in the bank. That would be nice. During the day, my brain seems to rationalize it’s way around the situation, but first thing in the morning, it’s more like my lizard brain is in high gear, and my rationale brain hasn’t kicked in yet. I do believe, that if I can just get this writing books thing into real production, and have a book coming out every month, that things will turn around in a big way. Like, a life changing sort of way. I really want that to happen. I’m just not good with distractions. Like have other things to do, like taxes, and boat maintenance. I have a hard time concentrating on those other things, when I do there’s one big thing (like publishing books and making money for instance) that needs to be worked on. It’s really a problem. I need for all that little shit to go away. All those little nagging things that persist through life. Things need to be simpler. Simpler and richer. And with more freedom. There’s really, just too much stuff in my life. That’s the problem. Too many annoying things. Too many responsibilities. It just never ends. Does it? Imagine, just being able to get up in the morning, with nothing to worry about. No financial problems, no house problems, no boat problems, no relationship problems, just simple shit. Every day, you can get up and do whatever you want, whenever you want. Imagine, if all you had to do was get up and write every day. Say write for half the day, then go and do whatever. With, nothing else to worry about. Nothing else eating at you. Can the money get you to that situation? I don’t know. It would probably get you closer. But, then, won’t you just want to get the rest of the way. Then, what do you fix? Relationships? Money can’t fix that. Health? That’s actually in pretty good condition at the moment. It’s still got about 15 pounds to go. Then how close to perfect would that be. These last 15 is a damn bitch. I really seem to be stuck at the 170 mark. That needs to move. Maybe getting out to the boat this summer will help. Not sure. You can get out, and do more walking. The food thing, likely won’t change much. I don’t know, if it will be harder or easier, to lose that next 15. The first 8 or 9 didn’t seem so bad over December, but the rest is being a major pain. And, I’ve been really good eating wise, in terms of junk food. I haven’t eaten any in over two months. You’d think, that would be enough to drop the weight. Which it has a bit, but so damn slowly. Just keep sticking to the plan, and staying the course I suppose. We’ll get there. Well, this has been a bit of a rambling writing session. Just feeling a bit unsettled this morning. I don’t like having a lot of things I’m supposed to be doing all jumping around inside my head. I need to purge a bunch of them. Well, maybe, I will get the boat waxed today. Let’s go check the weather.
TIGERBLOOD: a bit DAILYMOOD: good LOCATION: living room WORDSWRITTEN: none PUSHUPS: none TODO: wax boat TV: Delivery Man movie, orphan black BOOK: none GAME: Batman Arkham City EXERCISE: none WEIGHT: 170 BREAKFAST: bacon & eggs LUNCH: big ass salad DINNER: chicken tuscan salad (East Side Marios) SNACKS: orange, apple, grapes, almond butter ALCOHOL: none BEDTIME: 10 & 11:45 AWAKE: 7:30
Couldn’t really sleep in this Monday morning. Although, I still got pretty much a full 7 hours sleep anyways. I went to bed at like 10:30, so waking up at 5:15, and getting up around 6am is still pretty much a full 7 hours sleep. I did wake up to many thoughts of worry about the current state of my writing, and lack of income, and possibility of failure with the business. I do often have those concerns when getting up really early, and, I suppose they’re not really anything new. I used to have them, I remember when I used to get up super early to catch flights out of the country when I was consulting. And, to think of it, back then I was making lots of money. So, obviously, money is not the solution to that problem. I suppose doing work that you feel good about, and that you know your making a good effort at, or in other words, doing your best at. That’s where you need to be. Knowing that your in a position of power, and doing something actively that gets you what you want. Knowing, that your able to take care of yourself, and get the work done that needs to be done. I would love to be in a place, where I know that what I write is good enough to draw a fan base. That I can sit down easily, and write as much as I need to, and that it comes easily. That I feel good at my craft. That writing becomes like picking up a pair of drumsticks, and playing whatever flows through me. That’s the best analogy I’ve come up for where I want my writing to be. That it flows through me like drumming does, when I pick up and just play with a pair of drum sticks. I don’t have to think hard about what to play, it just comes out. I could play for hours and hours like that, with all different kinds of rhythms, and tempos, and styles. That’s how my writing should be. It should just flow out of me like music. Cool. I would like for it to be like that. So, I’m up early and a bit wired. I’m a bit at a loss of where to go next with the novel. I’m pretty much finished I think. Maybe a few more words, to tie some stuff out, then write a little more backstory, then start editing. I would like to know, how many words I can edit in a day. That would be nice to know. I know now, that I can crank out 5000 words before lunch every day, but how long does it take me to edit? More then 5000 I’m sure, but now that I’ve gone and written 90000+ words so far of rough draft, how long will it take me to get through that? Can I do it in a week? Maybe, today, that’s what I should start doing. And, where do I edit it? WriteMonkey is sort of nice for writing in, with the spellchecker and all. Maybe in Scrivener? We’ll have to try a couple of different places I suppose and see what happens. Scrivener might be a good one. Get things a bit more organized, and start moving it over there, scene by scene as you edit them. That’s one way to get it organized, and where you need it for formatting as well. It would give you a chance to get used to using the software, and see what the differences are between yWriter and Scrivener. So, today, it’s all about attitude. About getting your head into the write space. I don’t think, I will be writing 25000 words this week, like I did last week. I do think, I need to get some editing done. I do think, I need to flesh out some more back story and descriptive bits of the novel as I go along. Thinking of editing, maybe, I need to try some of those online tools I bookmarked earlier. I suppose, I shouldn’t get out of this journal this morning without mentioning that my eating and fitness and weight loss plans are at least going well. I haven’t been playing a lot of squash, but I have been walking, and I have been sticking to my no process foods and refined sugars regiment. That’s pretty cool. I seem to have hit 170 lbs over the weekend which was pretty awesome as well. Now to try and hit some writing goals as well. Get that damn book out there.
TIGERBLOOD: yes . . . at end of day DAILYMOOD: happy LOCATION: living room WORDSWRITTEN: 0 PUSHUPS: none TODO: write, edit, read TV: none BOOK: none GAME: none EXERCISE: walking 2 – 1 hour walks WEIGHT: 170 BREAKFAST: bacon & eggs
LUNCH: big ass salad DINNER: steak SNACKS: orange, grapes ALCOHOL: none BEDTIME: 10:30 AWAKE: 6:00