Morning Pages Entry – December 21, 2013

The goal with my eating habits, or at least one of the goals, should be for this to be an easy thing to do. I don’t want to be obsessing over it, and it seems that I actually am getting to that point a bit these days. I need to find a way to quit doing that, so that I’m not thinking about it so much. So that food, is just another regular everyday thing that I do. Maybe, there’s something in Tony’s tapes, that can help with that. I started listening to his subliminal tapes yesterday, thinking of Tony, and I’m not to sure what to think about that stuff. It just sounds like some nice background music playing, but supposedly it has some message being spoken, that’s just barely out of my hearing range. It sounds a little hokey to me. The message is supposed to be building my total self confidence. Does that need building . . . yea, sure some days it certainly does need building. Well, that music is actually kind of nice, so I don’t mind listening to it. I’ll give them a shot. I mean, sure why not, it’s no big deal. Yesterday, I still procrastinated about doing any real novel writing, and ended up spending a bunch of time getting the software that sinks up my phone to work properly. Well, at least it’s kind of cool that it works now. That Kies software provided by Samsung sucks big time. This other software works great, and it’s free. It can actually sync with my phone wirelessly. So, I don’t even have to plug it in. Basically, every time my phone connects to my home Wi-Fi network, it syncs the phone with the files on my home pc. So, if I went out for a while, took a bunch of pictures or whatever, when I came home, my phone automatically connects to my home PC and downloads the files / pictures / contacts / whatever and basically backs up itself. That is pretty cool. But I still need to do the writing on a more regular basis. I need to build the confidence that allows me to do that. I also need to do more reading of the “Selling Writer” book. That would be a really good thing. And to consciously read it, so what I’m reading sticks with me. The next chapter in the book, is actually about “People”, so I assume character development, so I really need to read that one, because, I’m not so sure I’m doing a good job at it. I’m listening to one of these subliminal tapes will writing this, and albiet enjoying the music, I’d really like to know if the tapes are working. Do I feel confident . . . I don’t know, do I believe that they’re working . . . I don’t know. It seems a little bit like snake oil to me. Tony didn’t really say much about them. I would like my writing to feel more natural. To feel like it just flows. Not to feel forced. I think that’s what I’m feeling at the moment. That I’m forcing myself to do it as a task. But, what I want it to feel like, is sort of like what I’m doing right now. Just writing, and writing, and things are popping into my head, and I keep writing, and writing some more. It seems very easy, and it flows out of me. I want my stories to do that. I want the writing to feel like a story playing out in my head, and I’m just pouring it out through my fingers onto the keyboard effortlessly. Well, maybe not totally effortlessly, with some thinking and creatively, but I want that flow. My words should just pour out of me, and the story reveals itself to me and the reader. That would be my ultimate goal with it. Then I think I wouldn’t be so apprehensive about tackling it. How do I get into that space, where the story just comes, and flows through me onto the keyboard. I think, it’s all mental. To free myself from any negative thoughts that are bothering or affecting me, and go to that beautiful creative place where ideas just come, and creativity is as simple as breathing, and the story just reveals it self, and the characters reveal all their deepest secrets to me, and I know them like brothers that have been with me forever. That’s where I need to be.

LOCATION: home office WORDS WRITTEN: 0 PUSHUPS: 25 TODO: christmas shopping, read “selling writer”, write 3000+ words TV: glee, scrubs, dr who BOOK: none GAME: GTA5 EXERCISE: none WEIGHT: 178 BREAKFAST: bacon & eggs LUNCH: big ass salad DINNER: singapore beef SNACKS: orange, apple, nutty trail mix ALCOHOL: none BEDTIME: 12:30 am AWAKE: 8 am

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