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It may seem somewhat presumptuous of me to suggest, that I know what it means to be a writer, but to my detractors I’d ask the question … why wouldn’t I? Of course, as of today, I’ve never made the New York Times best sellers list, and it’s inconceivable that I will any time in the near future. I have made it to a few top seller lists in a number of rather obscure Amazon book niches so far, albeit for short bursts of time. Irregardless, I do think I have an inkling of what it means to be a writer. My preferred definition of the term belongs to that of another author, who’s name at the moment escapes me, but it’s one that is shared by and repeated often enough by other purveyors of pen skills. That being, that …
He who writes, is in fact a writer.
Or in other words, we are what we do. Since I write on a daily basis, I am in fact a writer. That’s scary. At least to me it is. It also ticks off a lot of boxes for me in terms of living a full life, but more than anything else, it scares the hell out of me. Pretty much on a daily basis. That is by far my biggest hurdle in life right now bar none. Trying to find the courage every day, to sit behind a keyboard, and pour myself into my next work in progress. It’s not the fear of coming up with new ideas … that’s simply having a process for me, and putting in a bit of time. It’s not the fear of disappointing others either. I’ve always been the sort of person, that’s indifferent to what the rest of the world thinks, and to a writer it’s one of his most powerful instruments. It’s not even the fear of going unnoticed, and ergo never turning my writing into a financially viable endeavour. I’ve learned log ago, that writing has it’s own intrinsic rewards. Just the act in and of itself is rewarding and fulfilling joyous. I would be happy for the reset of my days, if I could do nothing more than fill volumes upon volumes of my imaginary characters travelling the heroes journey (thank you Joseph Campbell).
I think, what scares me the most, is that what I’m writing won’t be good enough for me. That, my writing won’t live up to my own expectations of greatness. I know. I know. That makes no sense. Don’t ever let the illogical fear of something stop you from getting good at something. Believe me, I know how that works. I apply it to virtually every other aspect of my life, and I’ve seen it do wonders. It’s not the logic that escapes me. It’s the courage. So let me leave you with a quote I read the other day that resonated with me. It’s from the movie “We Bought A Zoo”, and it’s spoken by the Matt Damon character. It goes …
Sometimes, all it takes is 20 seconds of insane courage.
Starting today, I make a promise to all my future readers, to find my 20 seconds of insane courage … every day. Today, my courage brought me to post on this blog for the first time in a very long time. Who knows what it will get me tomorrow.
